By Ella Hanover, Pediatric Sleep Specialist at Ella Grace Sleep Solutions, @ellagracesleepsolutions
Although expecting parents are often told to “enjoy sleep while you can,” nothing quite prepares you for the level of exhaustion that comes with having a newborn.
For mothers especially, the postpartum exhaustion goes beyond just lack of sleep. There’s the physical recovery from pregnancy and birth, managing milk supply and feedings, plus the massive hormonal shift that starts immediately after birth¹. Even if you’re not breastfeeding, your body is doing a lot. On top of that, you have the emotional adjustment of meeting a new version of yourself.
Newborns wake every two to three hours at night to feed, need lots of support settling, and crave proximity to their parents. This is all developmentally normal, but when it’s happening every couple of hours for weeks on end, it can leave parents feeling deeply depleted.
If you’ve found yourself desperately googling newborn sleep questions in the middle of the night, you’re not alone. Broken sleep at this stage is common and normal, but there are ways you can support your baby and yourself so everyone can function (and feel) a little bit better.
This blog answers some of the most common questions and concerns I hear as a baby sleep consultant and will hopefully lighten the mental load of baby sleep and support you during those less-than-ideal nights of sleep.
Why is newborn sleep so hard in the postpartum period?
The main reason newborn sleep is so broken up is simply because they need to eat.
Most newborns feed every 1–3 hours², and that timing starts from the beginning of the feed, not the end. A typical overnight cycle might look like this: baby wakes, diaper change, feeding, burping, settling back to sleep. That process alone might take 30 minutes, or it might take an hour or longer. If a feeding begins at midnight and your baby feeds every three hours, the next feed begins at 3 AM, even if they didn’t fall asleep again until 1:30.
In the first week specifically, you’ll be waking your baby at the three-hour mark to feed at night until they get back to their birth weight. During this period, sleep is expected to be this broken up. As they get older, they will be able to take more milk and sleep longer between feeds.
That means parents might only get one to two hours of sleep at a time. This pattern isn’t a sign that anything is wrong. Your newborn is doing exactly what they’re supposed to do to support their growing body!
The fact is that feeding and sleep are deeply connected. A hungry baby doesn’t sleep well, and a sleepy baby often doesn’t feed well.
If you want to support longer stretches of sleep through the night I recommend encouraging your baby to stay awake and feed fully. If your baby is having trouble staying awake during feeds, try:
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Offering a feed as soon as they stir during the day during the first few weeks
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Burping and then laying them on their back to wake them up and offer the other breast or more of the bottle
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Talking or singing to keep them engaged
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Undressing them down to a diaper
Full bellies lead to better naps and longer stretches of overnight sleep. And those good pockets of rest lead to more alert, effective feedings. It’s a beautiful cycle!
What’s normal (and often misunderstood) about baby sleep:
Why is my baby so loud while sleeping?
Many newborns cry, grunt, or make loud noises while they are still asleep. This often happens because babies spend a significant portion of their sleep in active sleep³, which is similar to REM sleep in adults.
You might notice:
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Eyes opening
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Whimpering
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Brief cries
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Grunting
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Sneezing
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Squeaks
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Tooting
These noises are nothing to be alarmed about, and taking a moment to pause before you respond can help you avoid waking a baby who is actually still asleep.
What’s considered normal disrupted sleep vs. a sleep regression?
For newborns, frequent night waking is usually driven by age-appropriate feeding needs. If your newborn is consistently waking every 1-2 hours throughout the night instead of every 2-5 hours, and it’s not because of cluster feeding, there may be discomfort at play or a feeding issue that needs to be addressed. We shouldn't (and biologically can’t) aim for sleeping through the night during this stage. As babies get older, stretches of sleep lengthen.
Around 3–5 months, babies experience a shift in sleep, and it’s most commonly known as the 4-month sleep regression.
Instead of two primary sleep stages, between 3-5 months, your baby begins to develop four distinct sleep stages, REM and three NREM stages⁴. These new sleep stages create more opportunities for your baby to rouse and awaken between sleep cycles. Developmental milestones, like learning how to roll, in combination with moving from a swaddle to a sleep sack can also cause sleep disruptions.
Signs of 4-month sleep regression:
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Frequent night wakes
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Needing more support to get to sleep and back to sleep throughout the night
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More difficulty getting them down for naps and night sleep
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Naps shorten in duration
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Breathing changes: as they enter more mature sleep, their breathing will become slower, deeper, and more rhythmic, similar to adult sleep. This change is the result of their airway muscles relaxing and signifies a transition to more organized breathing
Tips to support your baby’s sleep through the four month sleep regression:
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Focus on full feeds during the day and consider anchoring the morning feed at a regular time.
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Help your baby get back to sleep with alternative settling supports rather than introducing more nighttime feeds. You can try rubbing their back, rocking, and/or giving them a chance to put themselves back to sleep independently.
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Update wake windows. Aim for 1.75 to 2.25 hours between sleeps.
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Introduce a simple wind-down routine. Consistency is key, so implement a calming set of steps before all naps and bedtime.
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Expose your baby to sunlight first thing in the morning to help regulate circadian rhythm.
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Be consistent with morning rise, the first nap of the day and the end of the last nap to allow for a predictable bedtime.
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Transition from swaddle to sleep sack
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Give your baby plenty of tummy time on the floor to get their energy out.
Why isn’t sleep getting better?
Many parents experience a moment where their baby’s sleep seems to improve around two months of age, only for things to feel harder again a few weeks later.
For example, a six-week-old might start giving parents longer overnight stretches. Then around three or four months, the shift to more mature sleep cycles can make you feel like you’re back in the newborn stage again. It can be discouraging, but it’s often just part of how sleep naturally develops during infancy.
It’s important that you take care of your needs as much as possible during this time. When sleep is scarce, you might consider trying parental shifts. These shifts might look like:
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Parent A takes 7 PM–2 AM
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Parent B takes 2 AM–morning
Tailor these shifts to what works for your family! If Mom is breastfeeding and waking up more frequently, Dad can take a longer shift overnight. If one parent enjoys naps more than another, factor that into your shifts. For formula fed babies, you can switch off nights between parents.
Even just ONE protected 4 hour stretch can be the difference between barely surviving and getting through the day alright!
Supporting better sleep without chasing perfection:
Improving baby sleep doesn’t always require strict schedules or formal sleep training. Often, adjusting our expectations, defining what a good night is, and gentle consistency goes a long way. A good place to start is setting a consistent rhythm for the day.
Focus on:
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A consistent morning wake time
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Keeping the first nap of the day at the same time
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Capping the last nap of the day at the same time
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Keeping bedtime within the same 30-minute window
What happens during the day– feedings, naps, and routines– greatly impact nighttime sleep. When days are well-managed, baby is well-aligned for consolidated nighttime sleep. Naps should be age-appropriately spaced out throughout the day so babies build enough sleep pressure for bedtime.
Age-Appropriate Wake Windows:
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Birth to 1 month - 30 to 60 minutes
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2 Months - 60 to 90 minutes
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3 to 4 Months - 75 to 120 mins
Watch for sleepy cues: staring into space, less engaged, red eyebrows, rubbing eyes, yawning, fussiness. If you notice these early cues, your baby is more likely to fall asleep calmly and sleep peacefully. If your baby is crying, rigid, arching their back or making fists, it’s typically harder to help them transition into sleep.
When transferring to a bassinet:
Once you’ve settled your baby to sleep for a nap or at nighttime, putting them in the crib or bassinet can seem like the trickiest part.
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Keep one hand on their head and one hand on their bottom (this prevents your arm being stuck under their body once you put them down)
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Lower their bottom first, then head
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Keep your hand on baby’s chest for 15–20 seconds after placing down
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Use consistent white noise to help them stay asleep
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Place them on their side before rolling them to their back.
Routines matter more than rigid schedules.
Babies are unpredictable, especially in the early months. I’ve found that rigid schedules often make parents worry about unnecessary things, question whether they’re doing the “right” things, and feel like they’re missing a huge piece of the “sleep puzzle.” These tips are meant to help you navigate your days while caring for your newborn, NOT to keep you on a tight newborn sleep schedule. Seriously!
Every baby is different and their sleep needs will vary. If your baby is awake longer than expected but is content, there’s nothing to worry about!
Instead of a rigid schedule, you can use this framework to plan rhythms and routines that enrich the whole family. Start routines like a morning walk, afternoon play time, or a regular bath time with the same songs each night. All of this predictability will help further develop those routine sleep cues that we talked about earlier.
For younger infants, I recommend a mix of crib naps and supported naps (contact, stroller, baby carrier etc.) The goal of the day is for you and your baby to have a good day. In fact, those supported naps are a great opportunity to get your needs taken care of, whether that’s a nap in the rocker with your baby or a stroll in the park for some fresh air and sunlight– which is a great segue into…
Supporting yourself during late-night wakeups
Parents also need support during the newborn stage.
Keeping water, snacks, or simple nourishment nearby can make overnight feeds more manageable for a breastfeeding mom, and things like staying hydrated, keeping the lights low, or opting for an audiobook instead of scrolling can help both parents return to sleep more easily between feeds.
For many families, this is also where easy nourishment options like Nunona can be helpful during those long nights. Having something quick and supportive during late-night feeds can make those wake-ups feel just a little more manageable when sleep is limited, and give you that much needed energy for the day.
Take a deep breath, go with the flow, remind yourself that you are exactly what your baby needs, and give yourself lots and lots of grace. You’re doing great!
FAQ:
Why do babies cry in their sleep?
Babies often cry briefly during active sleep³, which is a normal stage of newborn sleep. During this phase, babies may move, make noises, or whimper even though they are still asleep. If the sound is short and doesn’t escalate, it’s often best to pause and see if they settle on their own.
Do babies sleep more after shots?
Sometimes. Some babies sleep longer as their immune systems respond⁵ to the vaccine, while others may feel fussier and wake more frequently. Both responses are normal and usually resolve within a day or two.
When can babies sleep with blankets?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, loose blankets are not recommended until after a baby’s first birthday⁶. Until then, wearable blankets or sleep sacks are the safest option.
When can babies sleep on their stomach?
Babies should always be placed on their backs to sleep. Once a baby can independently roll onto their stomach, it is generally safe for them to remain in that position if they roll there on their own.
When can babies sleep with a pillow?
Pillows are typically introduced later in toddlerhood. Signs of readiness often include transitioning to a toddler bed and consistently staying in one sleeping position.
About the Author
Ella Hanover is a baby and toddler sleep consultant serving NYC families. She helps parents create sustainable sleep routines that honor child development and support the emotional well-being of the entire family.
Explore her tips, resources, and ways to work together at Ella Grace Sleep Solutions.
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Jones, Brandi, MSN-ED RN-BC. What to know about postpartum hormones. Verywell Health. Published June 13, 2024. https://www.verywellhealth.com/postpartum-hormones-8658620
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Grigg‑Damberger MM. The visual scoring of sleep in infants 0 to 2 months of age. J Clin Sleep Med. 2016;12(3):429‑445. doi:10.5664/jcsm.5600. Published March 15, 2016. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4773630/
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Franck L, Gay CL, Lynch M, Lee KA. Infant sleep after immunization: randomized controlled trial of prophylactic acetaminophen. Pediatrics. 2011;128(6):1100‑1108. doi:10.1542/peds.2011‑1712. Published December 2011. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3387894/
